The Bee and the Blue

I’ve been asked recently about my website, the colors and symbols I chose. Why the blue? Why the bee? So, I thought I would explain how everything came to fruition. I have been working in healthcare as a nurse for the last fifteen years of my life. I spent around ten of those years working with ventilator patients by helping with their transition from the intensive care unit to the next acute care setting. And then, a once in a lifetime pandemic hit. I spent a year of my life inside the intensive care unit with the sickest of the sick and saw amazing things but also saw devastating things. I saw humanity at its finest and also humanity at its most heartbreaking moments. And I witnessed this all while trying to keep it together as a mother of two young children and a wife (which I was failing at miserably). For the empath I am, the noise was deafening, and I am not just referring to ICU monitors and code blues being called over the loud speaker. It was simply too much.

              I made it through the end of 2020 and sometime at the start of the New Year, a women’s retreat to Costa Rica serendipitously fell into my lap. In an uncharacteristic move from my typical type A, control freak self, I said yes. I said yes to a retreat with thirteen strangers led by the amazingly incredible Jessica Zweig of the Chicago branding agency, Simply Be.

              To be honest, I had no idea who Jessica was, and I certainly didn’t understand what she did. My mind had been entrenched in the left brain world of healthcare for so long while juggling basic logistics of mom life that I didn’t have room to even begin to understand. But what I did understand, without a shadow of a doubt, is that I knew I was supposed to be there at that specific retreat in Nosara, Costa Rica, with these strangers. It was a knowing.

              I announced to my husband and family that I had reached my limit, and I would literally be running off to the jungle by myself. My best friend, Kelly, raised her concerns about me being kidnapped in a foreign country. My husband knew not to argue with me when I had my mind made up and simply responded, “Okay. But just make sure you come back?” And he said it as a question, too. I’m sure he could see all over my face that it was in fact appropriate to ask as a question.

              So March 2021, I packed my passport, bags, negative COVID tests, and flew myself to Nosara, Costa Rica. And what I found there was pure magic. I can never put into words, how much that trip, that place, those people (who are now incredibly supportive friends) changed my life. The retreat was a soul searching, mind expander that led me back to the true self I had lost or was too scared to reveal- a creative and a story teller. What was even more amazing was being surrounded by like- minded, highly motivated and successful women, who had no preconceived notion of me whatsoever.

              The Bee: During this trip, with the help of Jessica and these remarkable women, I decided to create my writing website. It was also during this trip, that for whatever reason, bees would not leave me alone. There seemed to be a bee around me at all times. Our yoga instructor/ spiritual guide, Rebecca, let me know I wasn’t crazy thinking the bees were following me and that they were simply trying to tell me something. I thought to myself, “Okay, seems strange, but I’m going with it.” We also discussed the symbolism of the bee, which resonated deeply with me. Bees have many different jobs, especially the females. Worker bees are all female, and I am, and always will be a worker bee. I don’t know any other way. I especially think all mothers can be described as worker bees- having many different jobs, wearing many different hats, always on the go, taking care of others, rather than putting themselves first. Did you know worker bees can actually work themselves to death? I get it.

Honey bees and forager bees work hard to pollinate, create honey, and so on. I thought to myself while discussing with Rebecca, “Okay, I can get with the bee thing.” I thought about my stories and writing being my way of “pollinating” my creativity. And the bees didn’t stop. I even stepped on a bee the last night of my retreat while walking on the beach during sunset. I have never in my life seen a bee on the beach, much less get stung by one. Thankfully, my new found friend, Amanda, was able to get the stinger out so that I could enjoy a lovely dinner watching the Costa Rican sunset.

The bees even followed me back home to Tennessee. I kid you not. The day after I returned home, my neighbors decided to get a hive for their back yard to harvest honey. I was now living right next to a hive. And every single day, since I returned from Costa Rica, a bee has visited me in some way or another. Just the other day, I was on the eleventh floor of the hospital near a window, talking to a friend, and a bee starting buzzing right beside my face, outside the building. My friend laughed out loud, knowing the bee situation, and asked, “can bees even survive this high? This is crazy!” But, at that point I was not surprised one bit.

The Blue: While in Costa Rica, I enjoyed the most amazing breakfasts each morning, surrounded by my new friends, with the freshest fruit I’ve ever tasted. I still miss those meals. One morning, my hilarious friend, Jamie, with the most contagious laughter you’ve ever heard asked me what my color scheme would be for the website. “I don’t know? My favorite color is blue. Maybe I’ll use that,” I responded while most likely eating a fresh mango or something just as delicious.

“Yes! What’s that southern blue on the porch ceilings? That’s what you should use.”

She was right. It was my favorite color. “Haint blue. That is perfect.”

I’ve always said my favorite color is blue, but not just any blue. It is the blue color of the sky on a clear day. And every good southern porch has a sky blue, or haint blue ceiling, most likely made of beadboard or something similar. By definition, haint blue is a collection of pale shades of blue- green, or specifically the color of the sky. My mother always told me it was to keep the dirt dobbers away- that flying insects like wasps or hornets would think it was the sky so they wouldn’t build nests on the porch. While that may be true, the actual history of the haint blue ceiling goes back to the Gullah Geechee. The Gullah Geechee were the enslaved people living in the low country of Florida, Georgia, and South Carolina, who bonded together to form a strong common culture and spiritual belief system. Their folklore explains that ghosts, spirits, or “haints” were not able to cross water. The color was actually meant to mimic water, and not sky, in an effort to keep evil spirits away.

Regardless of the reason for the ceiling color, the haint blue is so strongly associated and synonymous with the South and all that comes along with it, both good and bad. And any shade of the haint blue in my personal opinion is just lovely and beautiful.  

So, when deciding what I wanted associated with my website and southern writing, I felt the strong pull of the haint blue shade and my newly found friend, the bee. Now, when I see a bee, which is honestly every day, I take it simply as a sign that I am on the right path- a path that aligns with who I am at the core. And, as luck would have it, my neighbor bees are making the most delicious honey I have honestly ever tasted.

To find my neighbor bee’s honey, go to @greenhillsgold on instagram to message them to try.

Also https://nashbee.org/buy-local-honey/ has multiple options for local honey harvested from Nashville area beekeepers.

To learn more about the Gullah Geechee and their culture, may I recommend Dr. Jessica Berry’s book, The Little Gullah Geechee Book. As always, I encourage you to support your local bookstore and buy from them first. If they do not have the book, most likely they can order it. As a last resort, visit https://www.amazon.com/gp/aw/d/0578644029/ref=dbs_a_w_dp_0578644029. The color alone makes for the perfect book to leave out on your coffee table.

Looking for the perfect hostess gift, birthday happy, or stocking stuffer? Visit the Mississippi Gift Company where you can find this adorable tea towel.

Order online at https://www.themississippigiftcompany.com/products/blue-damask-bee-hand-towel?_pos=1&_sid=c8200e447&_ss=r