Just a Swingin’

We all have those funny stories we replay from our younger years that make us laugh each time, no matter how long ago it may have occurred. One of my absolute favorite stories that still gets me tickled after all these years has to do with my dear friend, Cindy. Her name has been changed to save any embarrassment, but rest assured this story was approved by the main players.

During my tenth grade year of high school, my close friend, Cindy, fell hard for a cute boy in our history class named Jimmy. Cindy and Jimmy eventually made their young love exclusive and quickly became an “it” couple of the school. They were both fun-loving, life of the party characters, who brought loud laughter (as well as ridiculous teenage love quarrels) to every event we attended. All throughout our high school years, Jimmy and Cindy dated while unknowingly keeping us entertained with the soap opera of their love story.

It was during the spring of 1999 when Jimmy’s parents were out of town one particular Friday night, so obviously he decided to host a party for our friends. Now, the plan was for Cindy to spend the night at my home since it was about half-a-mile down the street, and it would be easier for us to make curfew being that it was so close. More time to party, right? Well, Cindy was known for occasionally “sleeping where she fell” which is a nice way of putting she drank too many bud lights and would pass out cold wherever she was. In her defense, she was a tiny little thing with an extremely colorful, free spirit.

That particular night, Cindy slept where she fell. Being the type-A mom of the group that I was (and still am), I ordered Jimmy to carry her upstairs and let her sleep it off in his sister’s room. I then assured him I would come back first thing in the morning to pick her up, and it would all work out fine. Cindy was placed in her bed for the night, and we all went on with the house party as any normal seventeen-year-old kids would. Eventually, curfew came for all of us, and we called it a night.

The next morning, my phone rang earlier than expected. It was Cindy, and she was frantic. “You have to come get me now!”

I rubbed my eyes, then grabbed my coke-bottled glasses from the bedside table. “Why? Did you and Jimmy get in a fight?”

“No! His mom is coming home. Hurry!”

There was no time to put my contacts or shoes on. I raced past my parents in the kitchen, who were most likely very confused as to why their grumpy teenage daughter was up before ten on a Saturday morning, and hopped into my 1989 Acura legend, praying it would crank (it was always a gamble). I drove the half-a-mile down the street as fast as I could and parked behind a huge azalea bush as to try to hide my car. As I switched into stealth mode, I called Cindy to let her know I was there.

“It may be too late. Jimmy’s dad is downstairs.”

“Has he seen you? Does he know you are there?”

Now, Jimmy’s father had been in an accident years prior and couldn’t actually make it up the stairs, so Cindy was still undetected at that point. And she had a plan. “He doesn’t know I’m here. And his mom isn’t back yet, so I am just going to go out the fire escape! I’ll jump down and run to your car.”

“What fire escape?”

“You know…one of those metal ladders you just throw out the window. Stay right there. I’m coming,” Cindy said before she hung up the phone.

I looked out the passenger window as I anxiously awaited my friend’s get away. Suddenly, a front window opened, and low and behold a loose, metal ladder was flung out the window, dangling next to the small front porch. Cindy was starting her escape and began her descent on the wobbly ladder- still dressed in the clothes from the night before with makeup smeared under her eyes and hair looking like a rat’s nest. And right at that moment, as she took her first few steps down the top rungs, a 1990’s blue Astro Van pulled into the driveway. It was Jimmy’s mother being dropped off by her friend, Sue. Since Cindy’s back was facing them she had no idea that she was about to be completely busted.

I watched as the train wreck was about to occur. I just knew both Jimmy and Cindy were going to be grounded for life. And I knew there was a possibility I would join in their punishment as an accomplice. As the two women got out of the van, they sipped coffee and casually chatted their way toward the house. All the while, Cindy was just a swingin’ from wobbly fire escape, trying to carefully balance her slightly hung over self on the wobbly rungs. I covered my eyes, then peaked through the cracks of my fingers. I knew it was going to be too painful to watch. Cindy eventually noticed the women coming and tried to remain as still as possible. I held my breath as my palms started sweating. To both of our surprise and shock, Jimmy’s mother and her friend seemed to be in such deep conversation, they completely missed the fact that a disheveled teenage girl was dangling from the second story, and entered the front door.

I let out a huge sigh of relief as Cindy jumped down and sprinted toward me with her purse straps billowing behind her. The car door opened as she yelled and laughed, “Go!” I peeled off down the quiet neighborhood street, passing a few eager morning joggers.

“Do you think they saw me?”

“I don’t think so. Surely they would have screamed or done something if they had, right?”

Cindy sat in disbelief. “I can’t believe we just got away with that.”

“No kidding- it is your lucky day.”

I drove Cindy back to her house on the other side of town. Eventually I made it home, exhausted from the early morning secret-mission wake-up call and dodged my parents as they had miraculously already left for the day’s activities. I simply did not have the brain power after the morning’s events to explain where I had been. Plus, I couldn’t have told them the truth so I would have had to make up some off the wall story. Thankfully, they never asked me.

Alas, Jimmy and Cindy broke up before college and went their separate ways. Fast forward fifteen years. We all married and started having families of our own. We started stable and successful careers, and Cindy stopped sleeping where she fell. In fact, Cindy became one of the more successful and put-together friends I have. One day, she was leading a class on a thriving program she started, and who to her surprise was enrolled? Sue- the friend of Jimmy’s mother who walked under her during the successful fire escape moment years prior.

As Cindy and Sue developed a very professional relationship, curiosity got the best of Cindy. After a few weeks, she eventually got up the courage to ask Sue a question she always had on her mind. “Sue, I’ve always wanted to ask you something.”

Sue looked up at Cindy and replied, “Sure…ask away.”

“Did you and Jimmy’s mother-“

Sue cut Cindy off in the middle of her question. “See you dangling from the fire escape at Jimmy’s house when you were a teenager?”

Cindy was shocked, “You saw?!”

“Oh I saw. And I did my best to distract Jimmy’s mother so that she wouldn’t.”

They both burst into laughter, and Cindy went on to tell Sue what led up to that moment. She then called me to tell me what happened, and we quickly realized that Sue had been a guardian angel- keeping us all from being grounded for life. Thank God for Sue!

So, in conclusion, always remember the story of Cindy just a swingin’ from that two-story suburbia home on a lazy Saturday morning in Mississippi, and that you never know who is looking at you or who is looking out for you. And may you always swing freely without getting grounded for life.

A Furreal Deal

Pray Specifically