Good Ole Momisms
As I become a seasoned mother, I find things coming out of my southern mama mouth that surprise even me. The urban dictionary defines momism as “things that your mom tells you that can be considered wise, but most of the time you just do whatever you feel like and the one time she’s right, you will never hear the end of it.” I laughed out loud when I read this. I tend to think of a momism exactly the way the urban dictionary does, but I also categorize it by “any saying that a mother has on repeat through her child rearing years”. The latest momism that is actively going around my house (and has been for the last few months) tends to get many laughs, although it is simply a-not-so-sugarcoated truth. For whatever reason, my husband has convinced my eight-year-old son that a buzz cut would be a great idea for him to have this summer. Now, some may agree with the particular hairstyle, given the heat and humidity of the South, but I strongly disagree. And I make it well known that I am not in agreement when I simply respond with my very own momism, “honey, you just don’t have the ears for a buzz cut.” He always looks at me in the most confused way and responds, “What does that mean?”
“Well, that means that it is my job as a mother to look out for you, and you just need to trust me when I say, you don’t have the ears for a buzz cut.”
He always shrugs his shoulders and says, “well, I may do it anyway” to which I respond, “Go on ahead and do it, but believe you me, you’ll quickly realize that your mom is always looking out for you and in your corner.”
As I’ve listened to my momisms coming out of my mouth and giggle at the hard truths southern mothers tend to spew out, adding a ‘honey” or a “sweetie” to soften the blow. I think about the own hard truths I heard as a young girl growing up in Mississippi. One of the best ones was, “Sweetie, don’t worry. You’ll grow into your nose.” I’m still waiting on that one over here, and I’m grateful my daughter got her father’s nose.
Many times, I hear myself and others say their good old-fashioned momisms is when the children are acting up in public. Although, this momism could be considered a good old-fashioned mama threat. The one that tends to come out in the middle of a grocery store run or a trip to the local Walmart /Target/ Piggly Wiggly is “If you don’t get it together, I am going to jerk you up in front of God and everyone!” Now, this saying always does the trick for my kids, and I believe it worked on me as a child. I still don’t know exactly what “jerking someone up” truly entails or how one would go about that, but I guess my kids can see it in my face that I mean business when it is released from my mouth. And boy, if I hear it from across an aisle, I know there is a fellow mama that needs not be crossed or else we all may see a mental breakdown in the wild.
Another famous momism currently on repeat in our house is, “the correct answer is!” I say it in an extremely animated, cheesy game show host type of way that I’m almost certain is like nails on a chalkboard to my children. When they question me about bringing their dishes back to the sink or taking a shower before bed, I simply go into game show host mode until I get a firm “Yes ma’am.” And trust me, the ma’am is a must.
Perhaps one of the funniest (and possibly most offensive) momisms I have ever heard was from that of a friend’s grandmother. Now, I believe women of all shapes and sizes should be celebrated no matter what. I also believe that at some point every woman is going to unfortunately struggle with body image issues, so please remember that I am simply repeating what the dear grandmother said. This grandmother was as old-fashioned and polished as any fancy southern grandmother could be. At some point, her daughter was struggling with another female who took the attention of a boy from school. Her daughter had been crushing on this boy for quite some time, and her famous momism that shut down any comparison or insecurity of her daughter’s was the simple statement, “Oh, honey, she’ll gain.”
Through her tears, the daughter looked up and said, “what do you mean?”
“Oh honey, she’ll gain. Don’t you worry, just trust me. She’ll gain.”
When I heard this story, I about spit out my drink, because it was so funny and yet so wrong. I couldn’t believe that statement had come out of someone’s mouth, but it was simply one of her tried and true momisms for a woman she did not take kindly to.
Finally, the classic southern mama momism I hear and say on repeat would be, “Don’t be getting too big for your britches.” Now, any child knows exactly what that statement means when they hear it and that they better get in line real quick before their mother blows a gasket. This statement tends to come out of me when I hear a mouthful of back talk, if the game show host act doesn’t work on the first or second try, or when my five-year-old daughter thinks she must put on a full set of makeup before walking outside the house. The “too big for your britches” statement is usually followed up by “a little goes a long way” momism (this is usually after a makeup argument) or “say that to me again” challenge type of momism.
Regardless of what momism you have been raised on or what momism you find yourself hearing or saying, the fact of the matter is that they good ole momisms truly stem from women just trying to make sure their children are raised right and don’t end up as complete sassholes. The fact is, we all may not have grown up to be socially acceptable adults without the tried-and-true momisms we have had thrown our way. And Lord help us all with kids growing up today- they need all the good old-fashioned, southern mama momisms they can get!
If you or anyone you know does actually go through with a buzz cut, I’ve done my research. Apparently, this cordless clipper from ConairMAN is the tool to help. However, I pray this doesn’t show up in my house.
Y’all, this southern mama full of momisms is just about the funniest human you will ever listen to. Check out Leanne Morgan, and if you can, go see her in person. It’ll be a great ab workout if you do. Not coming to a city near you? You can download her comedy album through Amazon and her website. (photo credit: Style Blueprint)
“Like my Mother Always Said” by Erin McHugh is a great read filled with momisms. It also makes a pretty great gift!
This candle about made me fall out. God help all our children not turn into sassholes. Hopefully they will remember some of our good ole momisms.