To Mask or Not to Mask

Let me first be clear that this is not a political short story whatsoever. Being in healthcare, I am absolutely used to masking. While I may be tired of it and am glad I’m starting to see some of it coming to an end, to each his own. Do whatever makes you feel safe, but here is a quick short story that will let you know it may be time to put them away.

              Just a couple of weeks ago, my son’s school lifted their masking requirements. However, they continued to ask parents to mask while on campus. Enter my friend. Let’s call her “Ann” to keep her identity private and to save any possible embarrassment. So, Ann had to go to campus for the class Valentine’s party because she had signed up to help with games or treats or what not. Personally, I think the volunteers are there to help the teachers with the sugared up kids who are bouncing off the walls, but nonetheless. As she was leaving, Ann ran into our favorite, friendly elementary school headmaster, Mr. Rogers.

              Now, Mr. Rogers is very calm and unassuming. He tends to quietly stay out of the spot light as much as he is able, and seems rather nice but a tad buttoned up. Mr. Rogers tries to remain neutral with the elementary mom drama that usually comes with sporting teams or who did or didn’t get invited to the birthday party, but he always speaks when he sees a parent on campus. So, in true form, Mr. Rogers went to say hello to my friend when he saw her leaving the Valentine’s party.  

              Ann had just walked out the front door of the school when she ran into our headmaster. Shortly after they started having their conversation about how the day was going or how much fun the kids had at the class party, Ann realized she did not have her face mask on. Being a respectful rule follower, Ann immediately reached into her purse mid conversation to dig around for one of the black, disposable masks she always carries. Keep in mind that Ann is a mom of two, so at any given time, there can be a massive assortment of items in her purse. A mother’s purse is always very similar to Mary Poppin’s bag.  As she kept eye contact with Mr. Rogers, not wanting to be rude and disengage from the conversation, she grabbed a mask and started putting it around her ears to make sure he saw that she was being respectful of what the school asked of the parents. Except it wasn’t a black, disposable mask. Instead of placing one of her handy, dandy, always-in-tow masks over her face, Ann realized (after it was too late) she had just placed a black, lacy thong over her ears right in front of Mr. Rogers. Somehow or another, the piece of underwear had landed in her purse, and she honestly mistook it for one of her many masks.

              She was mortified. Ann ripped the thong off her face faster than a cat lapping chain lightning and quickly replaced it with an actual mask. She stuffed the underwear back into her purse, and the buttoned-up principal never flinched. Can you believe it? How he didn’t say, “Excuse me, Ann, but did you know that you have a black thong across your face?” or “That was one of the funniest pandemic moments I’ve had yet” simply blows my mind. Now that takes some serious self-control.

              Ann quickly wrapped up the conversation (with her appropriate mask on) and ran to the car to call her husband. After she explained what happened, he laughed hysterically and told her that he may need to be the one having conversations with Mr. Rogers from now on. Word spread through her group of mom friends, and we’ve all been laughing ever since.

              So, moving forward into what will hopefully be a light filled spring after so much darkness of the last couple of years, if you choose to continue to mask, just make sure you have those suckers stashed in a place that is easily accessible and won’t get confused with your underwear. Good luck out there.

If you are still wanting or needing to wear a mask, may I suggest a mask case to keep them in. I found this cute one at Andy and Evan.

Things getting jumbled up in your purse? Perhaps try this purse organizer. Then you won’t have to worry about placing something on your face that is not a mask.

Lastly, if you are looking for some new and very comfortable under garments, check out Bombas for multiple options (men, women, and kids).